Learning How to Help Your Adopted Child Heal from Childhood Trauma
If you are the parent of an adopted child with trauma, you understand that the struggle is real. Finding ways to help your child heal and learn to trust can be a long and difficult journey. I went through many of the same struggles that you might be experiencing now. Back then, I was unprepared for many of the more serious behaviors that accompany child trauma, including:
- Lying
- Manipulation
- Peer aggression
- Isolation
- Seemingly unsolvable learning disabilities
- ADHD
- RAD
- ODD
- And other significant issues
These behaviors can make it hard for us to connect with our children to help them heal and form healthy relationships and behaviors. But there is hope!
Childhood Trauma is a Real Brain Injury
When a child repeatedly experiences trauma, it causes them to constantly be in what is referred to as “fight or flight” mode. Research has found that constantly being prepared to fight or run from danger can actually cause real damage to the brain, particularly the Amygdala, which regulates our emotional responses. The good news is that the brain is constantly growing and healing itself through the age of 25, allowing us time to help our children with trauma heal, learn to trust and form healthy relationships with others.
It Takes a Village to Help Your Child Heal
Trauma is a result of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE). The more repeated and extreme the trauma, the higher your child’s ACE score will be, which can result in a longer journey of working toward healing. But with the right guidance and support, you can help your child heal. This process will require an entire team of people from church leaders to family to educators, who will all need to be on the same page when it comes to what needs to be done to help your adopted child with trauma.
Meet Your Child Where They Are
As a parent of a child with trauma, it is key that you get out of the mindset of parenting your kids where others say they should be developmentally. Rather, you must parent your kid “where they are.” Trauma can often cause delays in learning, connection and behavioral control and it is not uncommon for a child with trauma to act many years younger than their age. Our ability to offer stable, non-emotional responses to their behaviors is often key to their healing over time.
ConclusionRemember that you are an amazing parent with a great child! By providing your child with a stable, nurturing environment, you can help your child to heal from their past traumas. Through my experiences parenting adopted children with trauma, I have developed a parenting system that has worked wonders for our kids. This system has brought a sense of peace to our entire family. If you are ready to learn more, I encourage you to download my free guide, “3 Keys for Parenting Adopted Kids with Trauma,” to aid you in your journey of helping your child with trauma heal over time.