How to Become Your Child’s Champion for Academic Success
It’s the middle of summer break, so you may not be thinking about the upcoming school year, but the start of a new school year is just around the corner. If your child is struggling in school with academics or social situations, now is the time to start thinking about how you can be the best advocate for your child at school to help them succeed.
How Childhood Trauma Affects Schooling
Childhood trauma happens when trust is broken between the child and an adult in their life. Often, this trauma repeatedly occurs, leading to complex childhood trauma. But what is most important to understand, is that childhood trauma changes how the brain handles stress, including the stress your child will experience in school.
When a triggering event or action occurs, your child will become dysregulated. Many children with trauma have troubles soothing themselves (self-regulating). Traditional styles of schooling and teaching often label children that act out as “bad kids.” Discipline is used to attempt to get a child to do what the teacher or administrator wants, but because children with trauma have a hard time trusting adults, discipline rarely works and only serves to further traumatize your child.
Your child will also have difficulty focusing and learning. They may also have other disabilities, such as Dyslexia or ADHD, which further complicate their ability to learn and succeed. Add on peer pressure and social situations, and you can understand how situations can spiral out of control in a school setting. Even for children without trauma, school can be difficult to adjust to.
That is why it is crucial that you become your child’s biggest champion at school.
How to Be the Best Advocate for Your Child at School
Here are some tips to help you become a better advocate for your child’s academic success.
1 | Find Your Support System
If you haven’t already, it’s important to find your people. This can be support groups for parents of children with trauma, religious leaders, and your child’s care team (doctors and therapists). This group of people can help give you ideas and guide you in how to better advocate for your child in the school system.
2 | Educate Yourself
Arming yourself with knowledge is the key to successfully advocating for your child. Learn everything you can about childhood trauma, including how it affects children and how it is healed. When you know more about childhood trauma, you’ll be able to better support your child, but also better communicate to educators about what your child needs to succeed.
3 | Communicate with Educators
While the science of how the brain is affected by trauma is nothing new, there are still plenty of teachers and school administrators out there who are not familiar with these scientific findings. Some teachers may become frustrated when your child acts out and responds differently than their peers. It is your job as your child’s champion to share trauma resources with your child’s school to help educate the educators.
Beyond that, keep in touch with your child’s teacher(s) to keep track of their progress. Having open communication with your child’s teacher will alert you to new issues, such as when your child may be struggling more than usual. This will help you address smaller problems before they become big issues.
4 | Access Educational Supports
It’s perfectly normal that some children need more support with learning than their teacher can provide. This includes getting an IEP (individualized educational program). Federal law requires that students who need additional learning support get an IEP. This applies to students in public and charter schools, but does not apply to private schools, though some give learning support to students.
Having an IEP gives your child access to more resources in school, such as help from a learning specialist. It also ensures your child receives accommodations, like extra time on tests or changes to their school schedule.
To get an IEP for your child you need to:
- Obtain a referral or diagnosis: You can ask your foster/adoption agency, child’s doctor, or child’s therapist for a diagnosis and letter stating that your child should receive learning support from the school. You can also request the school test your child for learning disabilities.
- Request services: Once you have the referral, you’ll need to request services from the school. They will be required to meet with you within 15 days.
- Document: Take notes during meetings, and save every email and form of communication you receive from the school. Meetings can be emotional, so bring a family member or friend with you to help you remain calm and to assist in taking notes.
- Get the Plan: At the end of every meeting, you should have a plan for addressing concerns going forward. Asking questions can help keep everyone accountable, such as knowing who is going to do what and by when.
5 | Request Homework Adjustments
If homework is affecting your child’s well-being, communicate with the school about what is happening at home. If needed, make a case for reduced homework or a homework holiday for your child. (See the resources section below.)
6 | Practice Self-Care
Finally, don’t forget to practice self-care. Parenting and advocacy take work. But in order to be your child’s best advocate, you have to be at your best self, and that means giving yourself time to rest and reset. So listen to some music, go on a walk, or work on a hobby.
Final Thoughts
The presence of a caring adult is the strongest antidote to childhood trauma and advocacy is part of parenting. You can make a difference for your child in school. By advocating for them and their unique needs, you can ensure that your child has more and better opportunities for learning, setting them up for a lifetime of success!
Resources
Where Do We Go From Here? – a book by “Child Trauma Sherpa,” Scotty Aemis, which helps parents guide their children through trauma and into Positive Safe Relationships.
The Center for Parent Information and Resources website (U.S. Department of Education) – includes information on IEPs
Wrightslaw – a website created by attorney and disabilities advocate, Pete Wright, which includes sample letters families can use to request an IEP and other documents
The Homework Myth – a book by nationally known educator, Alfie Kohn, which helps parents make a case for changes in homework
